Always Behind The Curve

So, I'm moving this blog. Blogger is just too much of a pain in the ass to manage. I'll cross post at both places for a while, since the new place is still deep under construction.

Follow here: http://theunimpressive.wordpress.com/

Blah-ndora Internet Blah-dio

I've given Pandora Radio months of chances. I've put my faith in the science of music- only to find out there is no such thing. And I've been forced to come up with only one conclusion-
dreadfully, Yahoo! Launch Radio is better.
Yuck. I feel like one of those assholes contending that "The Zune really is better than the iPod!" out of a sense of misguided contrarianism.
I don't even know if the Yahoo (fuck exclamation points) radio thing is even still around. Last I checked it didn't support Macs OR Firefox, which is beyond retarded, so I've boycotted it ever since. But it did (does?) have a few things going for it- actually, one major thing: the intelligent "Don't Ever Play This Again" button. Say I type in "Nirvana" (because I'm grunge) and it plays Lithium... immediately followed by Pearl Jam or Pudddddle of Mudddd or some other ridiculous shit, I click the button, the software learns I only like Nirvana and not horrible shit, and the world is happy.
But science gets in the way over at Pandora, and unfortunately I'm convinced that science gets in the way of music. Pandora breaks down the songs (as opposed to the artists) into formulas- minor key songs, rock-and-roll instrumentation songs, songs with "excessive vamping" (I didn't know what that meant either). And then it mathematically combines all these variables, and I get... Radiohead.
All the time, with the boring-ass Radiohead. I would never tell it to seach for Radiohead's acoustic b-sides and whatever else. The one positive aspect was that I was able to come up with a new term for Thom Yorke- Downs-Elf. It's pretty self-explanatory, and I apologize to the Downs- community, but it had to be said.
And just because I like Jay-Z DOS NOT MEAN I WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH 2-PAC. Sure, I can say "Don't play this song for a month" to Pandora, but what about the 5000 other posthumous 2-Pac songs, or the rest of the extensive Downs-Elf catalog? [Note- This just happend as I was typing- I thumbs-downed a Downs-Elf song, and 6 songs later it plays Creep. Arrrgh.]
That's all I've got, but at least I might have managed to offend the Downs-Syndrome Community (sorry), White Kid Wannabe Gangsters (not at all sorry), and people who like "Artistic, Creative, Mindblowing" music (hahahahaa, fucking Radiohead fans are the WORST).
And on a positive note, at least it's playing Straight Outta Compton at the moment, though I'm sure my joy will be short-lived.

Why I Try Not To Write About Music (UPDATED)

[When I originally wrote this, the Buddyhead website was down (way down), but, merely a day or two after I clicked "Post," theyre back (way back). Even with a new gossip post! It's like 2002 all over again! So, in short, THEY WIN.]


Because there are a few people that do it far better (and far less annoyingly).
If you're interested, check these out (in no particular order):
Buddyhead- the original and best. They've mellowed out (at least in terms of spending time on the internet), but have always been unstoppable. Much to the chagrin of their enemies (countless), they actually know what they are talking about and have great tast in music (I'm willing to forgive the Oasis-worship, dudes). For god's sake, they're language artists, brah.
Stereogum- All around top quality (and it's sister site, Videogum, is one of the best sites of any category, ever)
Idolator- Interesting articles, less news-reporty than Stereogum or BV.
An Aquarium Drunkard- Low post volume, but of the absolute highest quality, musically, aesthetically, and writing-wise. Stunningly good.

And The Award For Current Best-Thing-In-The-World Goes To...

The Fake Nick Cave Twitter.
Far better than the Fake Steve Jobs blog. Classic gems (I just coined that phrase).
Highlights:
-Opening a vegetarian restaurant called "Murder Salads"
-Attempting to one-up Jarvis Cocker's tie choices
-Consistent mustache-groomery
-Being unable to tell if he's speaking to Blixa or his answering machine
-Tagging, and then untagging himself from Mick Harvey's facebook

Really, it's just hundreds of Nick Cave nerd in-jokes. Good thing I'm a Nick Cave nerd.

Do you ever do things that make you hate yourself?

Take Myspace for instance- it's THE WORST. It's like the Paso Robles of web 2.0, all tacky and trashy, full of people you don't want to see except out of morbid curiosity, made up to look modern at first glance. You don't know why you go back. 

Oh, right, it's because your parents live there.

I guess that analogy kind of falls apart at the end. Sorry.

Anyway, I'm over it.

In other news: added a twitter thingy and rss subscription links (at the behest of Andy, I finally figured out how to do it) to the blog. Get ready to get sick of my constant twitterings.

Some Times It Just Takes a While To Get Things Done

Like, say, 6 or 7 years.
Case in point: my turntable. Like any self-respecting young "punker," I've had a record player and the requisite Minor Threat 7"s for years. However, I never had it set up correctly- until last night. See, I never had a stereo with the proper phono input/preamp, so playing records involved plugging the beast into my crappy bookshelf stereo and turning the volume waaaaay up, and listening to records without the proper EQ curve. I could've bought a phono preamp, but who has $50, right?
Anyway, I recently aquired the proper receiver/preamp, bought a classy new needle/cartridge, bought some new speakers (hooray gift certificates!), new speaker wire, etc. etc. etc. After a liberal application of electrical contact cleaner (the balance & volume knobs were corroded, causing distortion and general not-workiness) last night, I'm in business- finally. And it really does sound great. Apparently the reciever I got from my parent's house is very well thought of in stereo cicles (it's a Luxman R-117, if you care. But I know you don't). Fantastic. I don't plan on replacing my (hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of) cds, but when new stuff, or stuff that I don't physically own is available on vinyl, that's what I'm buying.
One thing I've got to get used to: having to stand up and walk over to the record to see the track names.
One thing I don't need to get used to: vinyl really does sound better. I hate to admit it, but it's true.

Records I've been listening to on the beast:
-Hot Snakes: Suicide Invoice (with a rad extended version of Paid In Cigarettes that I'd never heard until now!)
-Mogwai: Bat Cat EP (it's a 12" 45! Those crazy Scots!)
-At The Drive-In: One Armed Scissor single (yes, there were some cool things about my old job.)
-T.Rex: Electric Warrior (I always regretted buying the album from iTunes, and now I've made it right.)
-Big Black: Songs About Fucking (of course I have to have a Steve Albini record on vinyl. It's virtually required.)

TiVo HD is the greatest.

Even for someone who's been living the TiVo lifestyle fo sooooo long. Netflix Instant Queue! Amazing. The increased hard drive space and dual recording capability are really doing a number on my free time.
Oh yeah, Time Warner Cable=dicks. It took them a whole day to get the cable card working.
So between TiVo, Netflix, and Call of Duty: World At War, I haven't a lot of time for the internets, sorry.

Things That Have Happened (to me) Since The Last Time I Got Gas for $1.86

Yes, the threshold has been crossed. Gas at this particular gas station is actually below $1.86 at the time of this writing- it's 7-11, 17th St, Costa Mesa here. This is a memorable amount is because I was helping Dawn move into the old Costa Mesa apartment, and the day after driving a miserable, air conditioning-less, radio-less huge U-Haul truck from Paso to the Mesa in the middle of August (2003, pending verification), I couldn't help thinking how screwed I was getting by filling up the truck at the 7-11 down the street for $1.86/gal. Little did I know, right? Get ready for a big ass incomplete sentence, starting NOW!

Graduated college, Paso earthquake, layoff, move to So Cal, collect unemployment, blow savings, internship (Adam LaRue is the greatest), "Sweet" music industry job, overworked & underpaid in shitty Garden Grove (excellent freinds made, however), TiVo zombie initiation, getting a cat, early (forced) retirement from music tastemaking (Sierra and I broke Fall Out Boy. Really. Kinda. Yes, unfortunately all in a days work), Dawn graduates law school ass-kickingly, European Sojurn, The Lost Year (which I will not speak of other than saying unemployment, depression, temp jobs), going to the gym, getting my shit together, getting a "real" job, new laptop (!), de-vegitarianizing, expanding liquid horizions, joining/quitting a drummerless band, moving to Corona Del Mar, getting engaged.
So there we are, up to last week. Weirdness!

The Great Dr. Pepper Debacle of 2008

Yes, its an overstatement, but I really wanted a free Dr. Pepper. Since the World's Greatest Comedy Record came out the other day, I was looking forward to signing up for my free Dr. Pepper- which leads me to my point:
IT people responsible for estimating server traffic the world over should be fired, because they are always wrong.
Now, I know that the Dr. Pepper example could be just Dr. Pepper trying to avoid sending very many people a free DP coupon. This, being the most likely case, should result in Dr. Pepper being fired.
However, think of other examples. The 2 recent ones that come to mind are the Firefox 3 launch and the iPhone Firmware v2.0 launch. According to my simplistic understanding of economics (read: 4+ years studying it in school), it would appear that turning people away from your website/store would not be beneficial to the "bottom line." Is it that hard to overestimate? You have months! At least 6 months, in Apple's case (AND THEY MAKE SERVERS) to get some extra lines flowing.
The only solution is thus: fire everyone everywhere involved in estimating server traffic on launch day.


You're welcome, bottom lines everywhere.