Watchmen Was So Unbelieveably Horrible

I've never wanted to walk out a movie at so many different points- including within the first 5 minutes. I don't even want to talk about it, really.

So here are some movies I'd have rather spent my time/money on:
-Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector
-An American Carol
-Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever
-Charlies Angels 2: Full Throttle
-Paul Blart: Mall Cop
-Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li
-Speed/Speed 2 (Double Feature!)
-The DaVinci Code
-Star Wars Episodes 1 through 3
-Dave Matthews Band Live Bootleg Series
-Any Cameron Diaz/Drew Barrymore/Julia Roberts romantic comedy
-Testicles Being Crushed In A Vice: An Exhausitve 13-part Documentary

Hate-Reading Pitchfork

I like doing surveys because I'm not really very creative. So in the spirit of staleness and predictability, I appropriated one from Pitchforkmedia.com, where they ask pretentious and overrated musicians about (mostly music-related) things. Let's do this!

>> Favorite Songs from the Past Year
Hmmm, off the top of my head:
Batcat- Mogwai
Dig, Lazarus, Dig!- Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Time To Pretend- MGMT
>> Favorite Older Songs at the Moment
Elton John- Rocket Man (I heard it on TV last night, so it's fresh in my mind.)  
>> Favorite New Band
This question is bad because "new" is so fucking subjective. You're the worst, Pitchfork.
But in the spirit of playing along, MGMT is probably the newest band in my collection.
>> My Dream Collaboration
To collaborate with me? Anyone, almost.
To collaborate with each other: Josh Homme & Jack White on a Desert Sessions record, Boris and Mastodon on a noise-metal record.
>> Favorite Song Ever
How could someone choose this? Here's a selection:
Merchandise- Fugazi
A Day In The Life- The Beatles
Teenage Riot- Sonic Youth
Tangerine- Led Zeppelin
Plenty For All- Hot Snakes
>> Best Recent Concert
The last one I went to was one of the best- Mogwai in LA. As of right now, that's also the nest concert I'm going to.
>> Last Great Film I Saw
Man On Wire
>> Last Great Book I Read
I'm reading Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. It's great. 
>> Favorite Piece of Musical Equipment
Mainly the versatility of my Gibson SG, but really any guitar- especially electrics plugged into a shitload of pedals and a fucking loud amp.
>> First Record You Ever Bought
You know, I don't really remember, and I was trying to figure this out the other day. The earliest one I can remember is buying the Nirvana cds of Nevermind and In Utero from my friend Lawrence for $10. He had decided he liked rap. But that was in like 6th or 7th grade, and there must have been some sooner. The first records I remember getting as a gift were: The La Bamba Sountrack, a Cars tape, and Michael Jackson's Bad.

>> Favorite Record Shop
Fucking Amoeba Hollywood of course. It's always crowded, but that's because it the world's best record store.

>> Favorite City to Play
Based on my extremely limited touring experience, I'm gonna say San Luis Obispo.
>> My Dream Merch Table
None, like Fugazi.
>> A Popular Artist I'd Like to Fall Into Obscurity
It's hard to be an "artist" when you are popular, but Diddy or Britney Spears fit, in the absolute loosest definition of the term. As for those who consider themselves "artists," I have to say Radiohead and Bruce Springsteen (sorry Andy). Oh, and Arcade Fire!
>> Obscure Artist I'd Like to Become More Popular
See above. I don't really want to live in a world where everyone listens to "obscure" shit, but I think Queens of The Stone Age should be more popular.
>> Strangest Display of Affection from a Fan
n/a, thankfully.
>> Best Purchase of the Past Year
Have to say the Subaru.

>> Best Thing I Did This Year
Engagement.
>> Favorite Venue
The Troubadour.
>> Favorite TV Show at the Moment
Too many. Arrested Development is the all-time best. Others: No Reservations, Lost, Classic Albums. Top Chef has lost much of it's appeal since Thumb-Head's win.
>> Favorite Video Game at the Moment
Temporarily gave up Zelda to focus on Wii Sports and Call of Duty: World At War. Now it's back to Zelda.
>>Favorite Radio Show
The oft-lamented Jonsey's Jukebox, and the newly reborn Harmony In My Head.

Trader Joe's Soy Orange Creamsicles

Are the fucking best. I suggest you get hip to them ASAP.

Other things I'm digging:
...Trail of Dead: Source Tags & Codes- Still good. Need the new one.
The Juliana Theory: Music From Another Room- San Luis Obispo flashback, and I'm not ashamed.
Spiritualized: Songs in A+E, Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space- Jason Spaceman wins.
Sunn0))) & Boris: Altar- I love the doom.
Counting the number of despondent wealthy people I hear daily convinced that those commies are going to steal their hard earned cash and redistribute it to the unwashed and undeserving- priceless.
Douchechill!

Not Digging:
The Top Chef winner- he doesn't get mentioned by name. Dear Padma, we'll forget this ever happened.
Shunning my instruments- not consciously.
Getting tickets for expired registration stickers, then having the parking cop PUT THE ACTUAL TICKET ON TOP OF the temporary registration in the windshield.
Not getting tickets to the Clarity x 10 tour. Blew it.
Blogger's Block- blowing it.

Do you ever do things that make you hate yourself?

Take Myspace for instance- it's THE WORST. It's like the Paso Robles of web 2.0, all tacky and trashy, full of people you don't want to see except out of morbid curiosity, made up to look modern at first glance. You don't know why you go back. 

Oh, right, it's because your parents live there.

I guess that analogy kind of falls apart at the end. Sorry.

Anyway, I'm over it.

In other news: added a twitter thingy and rss subscription links (at the behest of Andy, I finally figured out how to do it) to the blog. Get ready to get sick of my constant twitterings.

Hmm, Weird/Good, Weird/Bad.

Item 1:
In reference to the previous post regarding my dissapointment with the demise of Indie 103.1 fm Los Angeles: the new, web-only version of the station is better in every way except two: no Steve Jones, and you can't listen to it in your car (actually, Dawn's car- my radio doesn't work anyway). Listen here if you desire.
Awesome surprises- yesterday they played Slint. Fucking Slint! Unbelieveable. And not just any Slint song- Good Morning, Captain is nearly 8 minutes long. Normal Version. Crappy Live Version.
Today- Wire's Ex-Lion Tamer, and not even on Rollins' show. Normal Awesome Version. Not Really Awesome At All Rollins Cover Version. (See how I brought those together?)
Two of my favorite bands/songs ever, but I suppose I shouldn't be that suprised- either of those tracks is probably being played hundreds of times a day somewhere on the internet.
[Subitem A: All the internets were like "lolz, indie sucked, listen to KUCI ftw, icanhascheezburger brb!!!111" KUCI is the UC Irvine college radio staion (No doy, Jack Donaghee). It is just as bad and possibly worse than I remember college radio being. The d.j.s might actually be retarded. Can you be mentally handicapped at the UC level? All they really have to do is comb Pitchfork for playlist ideas or play horrrrrrrrible "World Music." Dear internets: you were so wrong. KUCI=Epic Fail, lolz!!!!111]

Item 2:
I watched some live Nine Inch Nails movie/dvd thing on the HD music video channel the other day and it was APPALLINGLY HORRIBLE, sound-wise at least. Hardly any drums, no synths or guitars in the mix at all, only bass and lead vocals. I'm chalking it up to someone at the TV station fucking it up, because I can't believe there'd be anyway a band would release that shit on DVD- it would be humiliating.

Item 3:
Dear Coachella Festival: Fuck you. I've successfully avoided going to your festival for the last 10 years or so. But those days my be nearly over. Look at this shit! Amazing.
Bands I wanna see: Fri- A Place To Bury Strangers, Conor Oberst, Franz Ferdinand, Girl Talk (meh, maybe), Leonard Cohen, Morrissey, Paul McCartney (!), Patton/Rahzel.
Sat- Amy Winehouse (assuming she's still alive), Glasvegas, Henry Rollins, Liars, Mastodon, Tinariwen, Turbonegro, TVOTR.
Sun- Fucked Up, My Bloody Valentine, No Age, Paul Weller, The Night Marchers, X, Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
(I did not plan to bold those just because they are all M's. They're just the ones I'd like to see the most (again). Weird!)
Christ though, $269 for 3 days, plus the need to find somewhere to stay. They have fucking layaway though.

And I Forgot To Mention

Mad Men is the best television show ever conceived.
It's honestly all I think about.

TiVo HD is the greatest.

Even for someone who's been living the TiVo lifestyle fo sooooo long. Netflix Instant Queue! Amazing. The increased hard drive space and dual recording capability are really doing a number on my free time.
Oh yeah, Time Warner Cable=dicks. It took them a whole day to get the cable card working.
So between TiVo, Netflix, and Call of Duty: World At War, I haven't a lot of time for the internets, sorry.

Probably The Final Blog Of The Year

Geez, 2008 was kind of a tough one, you guys. I mean, not really for me, just in general. Actually, 2008 was pretty alright- good even. On to the bullet points!

-Obligatory Christmas info: long vacation, too much food, great (cold) weather. Ranch catastrophes are commonplace this time of year, so we all had to take care of a dying goat- just another day in Paso. All the family was around pretty much the whole time, which is rare. With multiple people, however, comes disease- and I've spent Christmas eve until now as a congested, sore-throated mess.

-Don't buy things from Best Buy. I should've known, especially cause I read Consumerist damn near everyday. Collecting X-Mas money, gift cards and etc., Dawn and I decided to buy an LCD HDTV. I didn't want to order it because I didn't want to deal with delivery hassles (not being home, etc.) and I was sketched out by Circuit City's impending bankruptcy, so I cracked and went to Fucking Best Buy (as it shall henceforth be known). The one by my work didn't have the approprate models in stock, so I drove to Costa Mesa, where they did. After long considerations about which picture was better (Samsung vs. Sony), I went with the Sony, bought it, got it home, unboxed it, and immediatly re-boxed it. Because the screen was shattered. Awesome. Took it back less than an hour after I bought it, when the Fucking Best Buy "manager" told me this doesn't happen to tvs so they couldn't help me, becuase it was something I did. Wrong, asshole. After some, shall we say, stern words, said Fucking Best Buy "manager" dissapeared and someone brought me a new TV, whose box I promptly opened in the store to verify the lack of shattering on the tv screen. Fuckers.

-I was able to summarize my musical taste with one trip to Boo Boos. I Purchased records by 2 artists: Paul McCartney (McCartney and Ram) and Sonic Youth (Confusion Is Sex, and SYR 8 live with Merzbow). One end of the rock music spectrum to the other: oldtimey-folk-classicrock-avantgarde-postpunk-noise-improvisation. Awesome.

-New Years plans: Big Bear. I've probably spent more time in Big Bear over New Years than anywhere else othe than my Mom's house. It's my brother Tim's bday on the first, so we will do much celebrating up there. Should be good times.

-Wedding update: date is set, catering booked, invitations designed, (cup)cake(s) tasted, dress (apparently- not my department) picked out. Not too bad for only one month of being engaged.

Things That Have Happened (to me) Since The Last Time I Got Gas for $1.86

Yes, the threshold has been crossed. Gas at this particular gas station is actually below $1.86 at the time of this writing- it's 7-11, 17th St, Costa Mesa here. This is a memorable amount is because I was helping Dawn move into the old Costa Mesa apartment, and the day after driving a miserable, air conditioning-less, radio-less huge U-Haul truck from Paso to the Mesa in the middle of August (2003, pending verification), I couldn't help thinking how screwed I was getting by filling up the truck at the 7-11 down the street for $1.86/gal. Little did I know, right? Get ready for a big ass incomplete sentence, starting NOW!

Graduated college, Paso earthquake, layoff, move to So Cal, collect unemployment, blow savings, internship (Adam LaRue is the greatest), "Sweet" music industry job, overworked & underpaid in shitty Garden Grove (excellent freinds made, however), TiVo zombie initiation, getting a cat, early (forced) retirement from music tastemaking (Sierra and I broke Fall Out Boy. Really. Kinda. Yes, unfortunately all in a days work), Dawn graduates law school ass-kickingly, European Sojurn, The Lost Year (which I will not speak of other than saying unemployment, depression, temp jobs), going to the gym, getting my shit together, getting a "real" job, new laptop (!), de-vegitarianizing, expanding liquid horizions, joining/quitting a drummerless band, moving to Corona Del Mar, getting engaged.
So there we are, up to last week. Weirdness!

Current Bullshit

Here's some current materialism for you. I used to put this stuff on my myspace, but, as we all know, myspace sucks balls.

Music:
Brian Eno: Another Green World
Public Enemy: It Takes A Nation of Millions...
Smashing Pumpkins: Machina II
Hot Snakes: Automatic Midnight
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds: Tender Prey
Kanye West: The College Dropout & Late Registration

Literatuuuuuure:
Michael Pollan: The Omnivore's Dillemma
Guitar Player Magazine
Vintage Guitar Magazine

Movies:
Role Models

Guitar Shit:
Devi Ever Shoegazer
Line 6 DL4

iPhone:
Bloom
Cosmovox
Wikipanion

Computers:
New harddrives
Maxing out memory

Recent Concerts:
Mogwai @ The Wiltern (A)
Raconteurs @ The Greek (B)
My Bloody Valentine @ Santa Monica Civic (A-)

The Best Junk Mail Ever?

Junk Mail: my truest, in every since of the phrase, Love/Hate Relationship. Sure, it's one of the hugest ass-pains in modern society, but without it, where would we get gems like this one (allegedly from "GOPUSA Friends"):
Subject: "Chuck Norris To America: Wake Up!"
Of course, I didn't open the message, but did I really need to? Nah. It says EVERYTHING in that subject line. I love that I'm even on the (obviously purchased) mailing list for these supposed "GOPUSA Friends." It takes away the need to gloat.

I did some of my own polling.

-Chance of celebration tomorrow: 96.3%
-Chance of cheesecake tomorrow: 100%
-Chance of UPS losing my birthday present (from Dawn), finding it, and subsequently delivering it last Saturday night between 6 & 10 pm: 100%
-Chance of my day being ruined by the DMV tomorrow: 30%
-Chance of my Halloween playlist having been awesome: 100%
-Chance of Proposition 8 supporters being horrible people: 100% (This one has been independently verified. BY REASON.)
-Chance of my brother and his friends being badass and stealing "about 30" Yes on 8 signs as well as "some" Yes on 4 signs: 100%
-Chance of me being sketched out that my polling place is a residence: 75%
-Chance of rain tomorrow: 20%
-Chance of me going to the record store tomorrow: 50%
-Chance of me buying a new guitar pedal in the next month: 95%
-Chance of my Dad or Grandpa waking me up with a phone call tomorrow morning: 85%
-Chance of above, plus my Mom or Sister: 100%
-Chance of me taking my birthday off work for the first time ever (except when I called in sick to work at CCS): 100%
-Chance of me watching a music DVD tomorrow (most likely a Beatles Anthology episode, or Refused Are Fucking Dead): 70%

Norton 360 Is A Horrible Peice Of Shit

It wont let me post in response to topics on here (but I guess that's what I get for blogging from work). So this is in reference to the post below:

@Andy: I read that too, but I also read today that they we setting up a meeting, so I guess we'll see what happens. And thanks for the vote of confidence, but I doubt increase readership would have any effect on my laziness.
@Time Magazine (who I didn't attribute that quote to): Sorry, but shouldn't it be "disproven?"

Things I Like to Make Fun Of:

Because I'm an asshole, and am really quite funny.

-Overly concerned parents ("My Babies!")
-PT Cruisers
-Religion
-People talking on their Bluetooths
-Radiohead
-MySpace profiles
-Your favorite bands
-Jock culture: bros, brew-has, hoverload, brew-hos, lifted trucks, dirtbikes, wakeboarding, slutty girls with blonde/stripey hair, Huntington Beach, Riverside, Pennywise (ha, "Bro-Hymn," this shit writes itself), Social Distortion
-Heartwarming stories
-Tattoos
-Sex In The City
-BMW's
-Hats
-Bad taste in guitars
-Scene kids
-The Valuation of Adulthood

I think I'll stop there. This could've gone on forever.

On-going Goings-on.

Past week-or-so recap:

-There was a straight-edge documentary (narrated by Thurston Moore, which is funny for many reasons) on the National Geographic Channel. Pretty bad, by National Geographic standards, but pretty standard by straight-edge standards.

-Crazy backstage parties with the Lakes- you missed it, you're bummed.

-Chase and John came down- Chase ate my bagels, John regaled us with tales of expatriate life in Switzerland, and Dawn joined the three of us to experience the best and worst things about heavy metal. The Sword absolutely slayed, this band (I refuse to type their name) was the absolute definition of "unwitting joke," and I was blown away by Children, whom I had never heard before.

-Moving is progressing. Not as quickly as I'd like, but progressing nonetheless. Wanna see the new pad? If you want to send me any boxes, do so quickly.

-The Night Marchers and Flight Of The Conchords have new records out. Go buy them.

And last, but certainly not least, check this sweet myspace survey! [Sorry. I'm bored, and haven't even looked at one of these things for a looooong time. Props to Josh for originally posting it, and not hitting me in the balls anymore.]

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a texting conversation with?
Me telling Dawn I finally hired the movers.

Where is the last place you went out to eat?
Chipotle with Chase and John (see above).

What was the last beverage you consumed?
Italian Dark Roast with a splash of nonfat Coffeemate (I know, I know. But the nonfat kind actually tastes better than the regular kind and/or nonfat milk.

Thoughts at this moment?
Formatting on Blogger sucks.

Do you bite your lips a lot?
I actually just did while typing the above response.

Medicine, fine arts, or law?
Art. Is there anything else?

Best kind of pizza?
Ham and pineapple is serious business.

Favorite drink?
A well made cappuccino in the morning.

Do you miss anyone?
Various dudes, I suppose.

What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Saturday night?
Seeing Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Who do you hate?
Most of the American public, neocons, outspoken religious people, the "President," people with bad taste in music... I could go on forever.

Who was the last person you had in your room?
I guess Dawn, but it's her room too.

Is your room clean?
Except for the large pile of laundry on my chair.

Can you speak another language?!
I create my own vernacular. Get hip.

What are you going to do tomorrow?
Work, food, pack boxes, watch Survivor, The Office, Scrubs, 30 Rock & Grey's Anatomy, play some gee-tar.

What is in store for your future?
Moving, in the immediate future.

Who was the last band you saw live?
The Sword (see above).

Do you take care of your friends when they are sick?
Sorry brah. Pass.

Do you like to read?
Constantly.

When was the last time you purchased something over $500?
Quite a while ago, I suppose, when a got a new amplifier.

Who is your favorite person to have a serious conversation with?
Serious conversations almost always consist of 90% bullshit.

What does your last incoming text message say?
"Nice!! Thank you for taking care of that."

Nickname?
When we lived in San Luis, Justin and I decided we needed sweet nicknames. He got Platinum Cobra, and I got Disaster.

Where do you want to go?
Australia, the South Pacific, Costa Rica, Mexico, London, Paris/Normandy, Florence/Rome, Japan, The Czech Republic, the former Yugolslavian nations, Boston, New York, Seattle, South Africa, India, Thailand, Scotland

What are you wearing?
T-shirt, jeans, adidas (alone in the office today).

What brand of digital camera do you own?
iPhone

When is your birthday?
11/4/79

Where was the last place you slept other than your own bed?
My bed at my mom's house.

How do u feel right now?
Slightly hungry.

How many kids do you want to have?
0.0

Do you like coffee?
I fiend for good coffee.

Who was the last person to call you?
Dawn, last night.

What are you craving?
The new Orange OR-50 reissue, a Valvetech Hayseed 30, a Jazzmaster, a silverburst Les Paul Custom.

Whats the closest red thing to you?
2007 Form 1099-Misc.

What are you listening to right now?
Indie 103.1 fm

What is the last pill you swallowed?
Some intestinal flora-balancing herbal shit my mom gave me.

Do you smoke?
Smoking is for hipsters and white trash. Interesting paradox.

Is there anyone you would like to fight?
If necessary, I'll pull a blade.

Do you like somone right now?
Dumb question. Next.

Do you know what tofu is?
I've become familiar with it over the years, yes.

Have you ever eaten it?
A time or two. Or million.

Do you want to go back to middle school?
Pass.

Have you ever watched the Britney Spears movie Crossroads?
Epic Fail, as internet nerds would say.

What did you do yesterday?
Worked, made a fantastic Mango Guacamole, made my ears ring, packed DVDs and books in boxes, watched Top Chef.

Who did you ride in a car with last?
Dawn, Chase & John.

Are you tired?
Meh.

Who were you with last night?
Dawn

Last movie you watched?
Sarah Marshall

Ever had a crush on a teacher?
Absolutely fucking disgusting. Never, ever ever.

Do you wish at 11:11?
Superstitions are for the weak-minded.

Contacts or glasses?
20/20+

Do you play any instruments?
Any and all, with the exception of banjo and brass instruments, which I refuse to go near.

To cool for school?
Obviously.

any piercings? where?
Pass.

Last person you hugged?
Dawn Bon Jovi

In the past 24 hours what did you do?
Fuck, I thought I already answered that.

Who/What made you angry today?
Nothing yet, bsides thinking about the state of affairs in the current world.

Do you download music?
In addition to the 60 or so records I buy a year? Yeah, whatevs.

Have you ever bungee jumped?
Nay.

How many pets do you have?
1 cat/racoon/lemur/panda hybrid.

Ever had an antfarm?
I don't think I ever got around to adding the ants.

Has anyone you were close to passed away recently?
Thankfully no.

Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
Various blow up mattresses. I travel prepared.

What's the closest orange object to you?
The "Publish Post" button on Blogger.

What is your natural hair color?
Mostly darkish brown, for the time being.

Where was your default picture taken?
CA, Costa Mesa, Santa Ana Ave., my living room, the couch.

Fuck, man.

I've have really intense blogger's-block, which is probably a good thing.

In the meantime, I thought this was really funny:
Patton vs The Famous Bowl

(oooh, a Patton Oswalt link! How hipstery!)
Oh yeah, I really like Ratatouille, btw.

What A Waste

Of the first blog of the new year.

[Note: for 2008 I'm going to start using the Tagging feature. Now I can instantly (and hopefully snarkily) judge every observation I make!]