Life is a series of random events.

-It's smoky. Ash is falling from the sky. Apocalypse?
-Bummed out by American Chopper: Vinny left the company. I'll really miss seeing that guy on the show.
-Two of my favorite bands broke up: The Blood Brothers (supposedly) and Some Girls. There will be a lot less new noisecore on my iTunes in the near future.
-And I hate cover songs: but the Killer's cover of Shadowplay is cool. I'm into it- even though covering Joy Division is like covering The Beatles or Zeppelin and should be off limits.
-While Malibu burned, Justin, Stevie and I had a Naked-jump-off-the-roof-into-the-pool Contest. Dawn and Jason watched in horror. I was also attacked by a bird (both the Avian and I were fully clothed at the time).
-Decisions, Decisions, Decisions: 3-Tone Sunburst, Olympic White, or Surf Green?
-I wish it would snow. Instead, it's like 94 degrees.
-I've been artistically stifled, and it's bugging the shit out of me. There is not enough time in the day.

These things don't usually go this well.

Not much going on here in blog land.
There's a feature in Blender about the worst lyricists in rock music- and it's pretty good. Accurate too (surprisingly). Sheck it out here.

In the "Fascinatingly Disgusting" Department: [Note: Beware.]
I have lots of problems with my ears. Nothing serious, just superficial, annoying things. Earplugs and iPod headphones don't fit in my right ear- I think it's oddly shaped. I have declining hearing (or so I thought). And, horrendously, I produce and inordinate amount of earwax. Yes, that's disgusting. I know- I have to live it.
Anyways, every couple months one of my ears (usually the bastard on the right) gets completely plugged. It happened again on Tuesday, worse than ever, and I'd had enough. So I went to the doctor, and some unfortunate (but nonetheless pleasant and gracious) nurse had to clean out my ear. And it wasn't pretty. I'll spare the details, but let's just say I could start an organic candle business very easily.
My point is this: my hearing isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. I can hear far better now, especially in the higher frequencies. Thank you, Dr. Lo, and Nurse Whose Name I Didn't Catch. You've just contributed to my year of re-birth (first I find out I'm younger than I thought, now this). The moral of the story is: Doctors are not bad, but very useful. Also- don't clean your ears with Q-Tips. Ever. Seriously. Not that I did, but- seriously.

Finally- Plotting has begun on my Soon-To-Be-Legendary Halloween Playlist. Criteria: Outrightly evil-related song name, subject matter, or general creepiness factor. Ideas welcome. Also- (Shane) let me know what your playlist might be.

Post-Finally: Copious research has begun for my guitar nerd blog (hopefully Blog-Cum-Empire).

Post-Post-Finally: Waaaaay to many hyphens. I apologize.

Another one, only for nerds.

I have a new blog going down- about guitars and other noisemakers. If you're into that sort of thing, dig it here:

http://artnoiseart.blogspot.com/

If not, fuck right off.

Severely Overrated Bands/Musicians

Because I am here to educate.
[Note: 2 posts in a day? What a fertile mind!]

-Radiohead: Everyone thinks they like Radiohead. Everyone thinks they should like Radiohead. I guess it is pretty "Avant-Garde" for Brits and people who don't know anything about music.

-Johnny Cash: It baffles me that people like Johnny Cash (even if he wasn't a country musician). He's not even a bad-ass, like his proponents would have you believe. He was a bad singer and a bad guitar player. So he played at a prison. Big fukkin deal- so did Metallica.

-The Pixies: Someone please tell me what's so great about The Pixies. Is it Frank Black's annoying-ass voice? The mediocre songwriting? The unoriginal sound? I can't decide.

-"Indy Singer/Songwriters": Iron and Wine, Bright Eyes, Bonnie "Prince" Billy, and their ilk. So, more dudes (with beards, more often than not) writing (sensitive) songs with acoustic guitars, but without the support of major record labels. Great. Enough said. [Note: "When The President Talks To God" is one of the best protest songs ever written, however.]

-The Arcade Fire: Go to hell. That is all.

-The Ramones: Bleh. Moderately catchy, moderately fast (The Damned=way faster while also being talented at the same time). Who cares? Plus, Johnny was a Republican.

-90% of the first wave of British Punk: Pretty much everyone except the aforementioned Damned, Wire (possibly one of the BEST BANDS EVER), the amazing Buzzcocks, and Johnny Rotten & Steve Jones from the Pistols. Sid? Fuck off.

-The Shins: Cause they just came on the radio, and they're not that good. Yeah, really.

-70's Prog bands: Rush, Asia, etc. [Note: King Crimson and Can are excluded, because they are actually underrated] These bands are the epitome of lame. For serious. No one cares about your wanky concept album.

-Stevie Ray Vaughn/Kenny Wayne Shepard/Other white guys that "just really identify with the blues," loooove Hendrix, and play a Stratocaster: Oh my god. Really? You expect me to believe you have the blues? Those faces you guys make when you're feelin' a blues riff travel straight from your soul through your fingers are ridiculous- hate to break it to you.

-Pink Floyd: See Radiohead, subtract 30 years.

-Oasis! How could I forget Oasis? What is so groundbreaking about these two twats? The British music press' crowning achievement in hype selling (see also: Libertines, Arctic Monkeys, Kooks, Fratellis).

Lately, I've been obsessed with:

-Morrissey:Everyday Is Like Sunday.
-Getting new adidas (it's like coming home after being lost).
-The combination of Swiss cheese and alfalfa sprouts on sandwiches.
-Finding a suitable desktop background for my computer.
-Lifehacker.com
-Kanye.
-Fender Jazzmasters, Ampeg Dan Armstrongs, Fender Dual Showmans.
-Getting a new videogame system.
-Someecards.com. I can't look at them, because I lose control of my laughter.